How to Respond When Fear is Pervasive
Photo by Allison Frank
A condensed version of this piece first appeared in Darling Magazine. You can read it here.
Fear. It’s an emotion that I always try to have under control. In my earliest experiences with conquering fear, I would ask my dad to do a thorough search of my bedroom to confirm that no monsters hid under my bed and that the Boogeyman did not live in my closet. Later on, I feared the dentist who appeared with an arsenal of razor-sharp tools. That fear vanished as soon as I gained newfound confidence from pearly whites. More recently, fear has been caused by a microscopic, invasive, and infectious disease, aka coronavirus. This fear has been different to manage, for it causes our hearts to break and our thoughts to go wild.
In our daily routines and experiences, we may encounter the ubiquitous power fear can have within us--the way that it can control us, paralyze us, and create a toxic environment. When left to wander and run free, fear can become a lingering adversary.
So how do we respond when fear is pervasive? How do we embrace our fear to challenge and empower us for the better?
I have grown fearful for the well-being of my parents and my ninety-two-year-old grandmother. The shortage of national supplies that our frontline medical professionals and grocery businesses face leaves me afraid of the future. The fear doesn’t vanish quickly, like the Boogeyman or the dentist, but I found four ways to respond to fear, no matter how pervasive it is.
Stay Together
In seasons of the inescapable fear that we seem to not have control over, one of the most heartwarming and fear-deterring actions to take is to stand in unity as one with each other. Fear can bring us together with people who share the same feelings. Humans have a core desire to connect, to be loved, and to belong. Although time zones, bridges, and border lines divide us, we have easily-accessible technology that makes face-to-face interaction possible. Even when miles and oceans separate us, a letter in the mail or a thoughtful text message can ease fear of loneliness, abandonment, and uncertainty.
Stay in Faith
Faith truly is believing without seeing. Trust in the daily gift that we get to graciously and gratefully call life. Because we want to be certain, fear can be held accountable for the actions we take. Faith does not always have a loud presence. Sometimes it’s the soft and gentle voice that reminds us of our small victories and accomplishments, like getting ready in the morning and slipping on your favorite pair of jeans. I feel the weight on me of the uncertainty and inevitable change lift when I place my faith in God.
Take Care of Yourself
Lathering up your hands with a generous amount of soap, washing for twenty seconds, and drying off completely is the new normal. Now is the time to develop healthy and clean habits for the safety and benefit of yourself, your loved ones, and your community. We have the power to practice sanitary efforts that have a ripple effect.
Stay in the Present
We have direct control over our mindfulness and state of peace by narrowing our focus on the present moment. Perhaps it is by seeking out to live in the present that we discover the presence of a close friend, a neighbor, or God. The desire to be dining-in at restaurants, in the embrace of a loved one, or browsing fully-stocked stores at the mall is undeniably strong, yet our actions today dictate what happens tomorrow.
One activity I have been enjoying to help me stay grounded is the “5-4-3-2-1,” which brings the spotlight to our five delightful senses. Identify five things that you see in your current surroundings, four things you can touch, three things that you hear, two things that you smell, and one thing that you taste. This calming method of practice reduces the mind’s urge to worry about the unknown future.
Our fears become weak and powerless when we focus on the here and now and acknowledge our strength, courage and fortitude. No matter what’s going on outside our front doors, let’s cultivate this peace today.
How do you respond when fear is pervasive? How can you embrace fear and allow it to challenge and empower you for the better?