6 Questions to Ask that Go Beyond “What do you do?”

Our society seems to place an emphasis on our worth and identity that is derived from our status and careers. There is an audible resonance of oohs and aahs when people mention their fancy titles at Airbnb, Google, or the like. Our professions seem to consume our days and emotions. Having a productive or good day at work tends to dominate our mood for the rest of the evening. Our accomplishments are worth celebrating, as are our failures because we can find inspiration through them. Moreover, what if we also focused on our relationships?  

Building meaningful friendships and relationships stems from conversations that extend beyond someone’s profession. It requires spending time with them with a listening ear and earnestly focusing your attention on them. Furthermore, body language greatly affects the direction of the conversation and the engagement of your partner. Make an effort to point your toes at the person you are speaking to physically display your attention. 

Here are six questions to ask for your next socializing encounter: 

1. What is something you are looking forward to? 

I love asking this question for many reasons. One, it allows you to learn about the other person’s interests. Two, it gives you insight on what their weeks ahead look like. Three, you have an immediate question to ask the next time you meet. Four, it shows you care about them. Anticipation breeds happiness, and this question can spark excitement and enthusiasm over a particular topic, occasion, or story. 

2. What was something that made you smile or laugh today? 

Genuine smiles and laughter are contagious. This is a great question to reflect on and bring an instant smile to the conversation. You would be amazed at the simple things that bring a person joy. Pocket that nugget of information to perhaps recreate the moment again in the future, because why not continue to share the warmth and elation?

3. What is one thing you learned recently? 

Learning is one of the greatest gifts in life. The more you grasp and learn, the further the world opens up for you. I always look for any opportunity to learn a new fact or to be exposed to an unfamiliar subject. This question creates a space for wisdom and knowledge, as well as dialogue for additional questions and answers. 

4. What is one question you wish someone would ask you?

This question may cause some “I don’t knows” and stump a few people if not asked at the right moment or setting. The deepness of this question stems from sincerity, genuine curiosity, and personal interest. I have found favor with this prompt when wanting to learn more after listening to a friend recollect a past event or story. This allows them to further share and ponder over their personal experience. 

5. What is something you are grateful for?

Practicing gratitude instantly boosts happiness and joy because it sheds the mentality of comparison. By giving thought over the simple joys of life, we are able to continue to manifest a satisfied and peaceful heart. Research shows the numerous benefits of giving thanks, including the opportunity for more relationships and strengthened physical and mental health. 

6. If you could have one lifelong luxury for the rest of your life, what would you choose? 

This is such a fun and entertaining question to ask! If I could have one lifelong luxury for the rest of my life, I would hire a chauffeur. I have a strong aversion to all things driving-related--the actual physical act of driving itself, parking, refueling, maintaining of the car. One of my dear friends answered, “I would get fresh flowers delivered to my house every morning.” This taught me how my friend delights in simple pleasures and how I can make her day. 

This is the beginning of an endless list of questions that you can inquire about when interacting with a new acquaintance. With this in mind, sometimes the questions do not weigh as much as how you ask them, which teaches us to ask kindly, genuinely, and open-mindedly. 

How are you approaching people in conversations? What questions do you like to ask?